UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY

Worry:  Allowing one's mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.

Anxiety: A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Anxiety with Diagnosis:  nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

CHILDREN WITH ANXIETY

• Avoid situations where they feel anxious
• Experience extreme and persistent fear
• Can have General Anxiety: Everything, or Specific Anxiety: separation, test taking, social.
• Physical Symptoms or Somatic: headaches, stomach aches, muscle tension, increased heart rate, fatigue.
• Behavioral Symptoms: Efforts to escape or avoid situations, refusing to go to school etc.
• Cognitive Symptoms: Negative thinking, perfectionistic attitudes, disruptive thought patterns

When a child becomes dysregulated their thinking brain is inaccessible for reasoning.  Their thinking brain is in essence offline and they are in fight, flight or freeze mode. The anxiety is a lie telling the individual they are in danger, but they are not.  The emotions are very real, but the threat is not. Teaching children how to regulate their emotions so they can think clearly will help their confidence and increase their ability to function independently.  The youtube link below “Flipping your Lid” explains this process and teaches the need for emotion regulation.

WHEN SOMEONE IS EXPERIENCING ANXIETY

Regulate- Yourself and them.   We can not be reached when we are dysregulated. Regulating yourself  and helping the other person regulate is the first step (see “Tips for Emotion Regulation” for suggestions).

Listen- Validate their feelings but do not empower them.   Acknowledging the person's feelings doesn't mean you agree with them but it does help them feel seen and heard. Listening with empathy and asking open ended questions will help you understand what they are anxious about.

Face the Fear- When fears are avoided they become bigger. Do not avoid things just because they make the person anxious.  Facing fears with  realistic expectations increases an individual's capacity to tolerate their anxiety. 

Model-  Come up with a plan to help and then practice it when they are not experiencing anxiety. Practicing coping and regulation skills together and reminding the individuals of these skills when needed can increase our capacity to use them in crisis.

SOME DON'TS

• Don’t get angry when they plead for you to let them avoid their fear.
• Don’t drag them physically into school.
• Don’t be inconsistent with the plan.
• Don’t cry when they are crying.
• Don’t get in a power struggle:
• Don’t tell your child they are not anxious.
• Don’t try to reason with them when they are dysregulated because their thinking brain is offline.
• DON’T GIVE UP!!!!!!

• ADDITIONAL ANXIETY RESOURCES 

  Websites:

  Headspace This organization provides mental health and wellbeing support, information and services to young people and their families https://www.headspace.com/

  Parent Guidance Center Classes and information regarding mental health available to parents 24/7.  Consultation available with a therapist if needed. https://parentguidance.org/

  Link to a visual explanation of “Flipping Your Lid” https://www.attachment-and-trauma-treatment-centre-for-healing.com/uploads/4/0/5/4/4054075/flipping_lid_infographic.pdf

  Books & Articles:

  “How To Help A Child Struggling With Anxiety” an NPR Article

  “In My Heart: A Book of Feelings” by Jo Wietk

  “The Boy with Big Big Feelings” by Britney Winn Lee

  “Wilma Jean the Worry Machine” by Julia Cook

  “You are Enough”  by Margaret O’Hair

  Videos:

  “Flipping Your Lid” by Dr. Dan Siegel

  “The Happiness Trap: Evolution of the Human Mind”  by Russ Harrison